I recently sent an email to ChicagoJen thanking her for getting us addicted to HBO’s The Wire. It’s smart, entertaining, and an episode makes you grapple with some hard questions about poverty and racism in America today. We gobbled up Seasons 1-3 via netflix and are now watching Season 4 thanks to tivo. Anyhow this season deals with the school system, among other things, and although it’s set in Baltimore, it feels scarily familiar.
Most of you know I did my first two years of teaching (my only two years of full time teaching!) in Oakland Unified. Without mincing words, it sucked. I can honestly say that the first year was hands down the worst year of my life. Basically, I spent the year just trying to make it hour to hour Monday through Friday. Sunday nights you could find me on the couch crying while curled up in the fetal position, positive I couldn’t get through the upcoming week. It is a wonder that K and I survived that year as a couple. I was a mess.
It wasn’t that I was fearful for my life as some stupid movies and TV dramas might make you think. It stemmed more from an overwhelming sense of failure…it took a bit of therapy (yes, it was that bad) and a couple of years time to realize that it wasn’t just my failure. I’ll take part of the blame…but only a tiny sliver for the days when I just said “screw it” and went through the motions instead of doing the endless “dance of trying” that was more akin to banging my head against a wall while juggling a knife, a piece of jello, and a flaming stick. I’ll hand out a little blame to some of the parents…the ones that really didn’t care (very rare, by the way). There are a couple of kids that I might even blame, though few. In my mind, they are victims of a system that is beyond bad. Dare I say, beyond repair?
Because here is the thing. Yes, the public schools are a mess. Well, at least public schools in certain neighborhoods, towns, and cities are a mess, and I don’t know if we can “fix the schools” without addressing the other big issues like universal healthcare, a real living wage, affordable housing, etc. etc. etc. because they are just one part of an overall systemic quagmire that’s rooted in racism and classism in this country.
With that said, I want to believe that there are things that can be done to move forward while we wait for the big fixes. I’m just not always sure what those things are. We live in a really nice neighborhood in Oakland and the neighborhood school has a lot going for it. It’s described as a school “in transition” not quite the same caliber as the “hills schools” but also not quite as desperate as the schools in the “flatlands.” On paper that’s true. They’ve got a lot going for them. The principal is fantastic ( I would have LOVED to have had a principal like that when I was teaching); they’ve got a good mix of veteran and new teachers; the building is nice with large classrooms; test scores are up (though don’t get me started on that); and they have a newly formed PTA that is working hard.
I’m involved in this school in a number of ways including active memberhip in the PTA and I am an active member in a group of neighborhood residents invested in helping the school. Many in this group, myself included, are parents that hope when our kids hit the ripe old age of five that the school will be “good enough.” And yes, that is a sticky situation because this group is mostly white and mostly middle to upper class–not the demographics of the school at all.
I don’t believe that anyone in this group approaches this from a “we’re trying to take back the school” kind of stand point. In fact, one of the reasons a lot people want to send their kids to a public school is that they want their kids to be in a diverse environment. (Oh god, does that sound like the “some of my best friends are fill in the blank with your ethnicity of choice adage?) But let’s face it, it does mean that some kids bussed from other neighborhoods to this school (which is better, though not great) won’t have that option down the line. All in all, it is a sensitive subject.
But I digress. I recently began volunteering in the 2nd grade classes by teaching the elementary theatre curriculum that I designed while working at TheatreWorks. I enjoy going in and working with the kids. It’s been more challenging than I thought it would be and that is disappointing. Yes, this school has a lot going for it and all of those things I listed above are true, but the reality of the environment is more complex than the improved test scores and decreasing suspension rate. Teachers still have a handful of students with severe emotional issues in each class. I’m talking major anger issues in some cases (the kind where you have to watch out for potential chair flinging). From both past and current experience, I know how much time a teacher has to devote to just keeping those kids safe and semi functioning at the expense of the other students. I also know how most of your time is spent trying to bring the majority of your students up to grade level and how little time you have for students who are already at or above grade level.
Right now it’s hard for me to picture Jack going to school there. If he were older and we were making the choice today, I would say no way. I’m glad we don’t have to make that choice today and I hold out hope that some major things happen over the next few years that at least make me want to consider it. Please don’t think I am just looking for the best, most challenging education. It’s not that at all, because I think a lot is (or can be) supplemented in the home in terms of learning the mechanics, but I do want the environment to be a positive and stimulating environment. I have a long list of things that I would love, love, love to see in a school in which Jack attends but this post is long and I haven’t posted in a while so I am going to leave it for now.
In fact, I am not sure why I started this post. What information was I trying to impart or gain. I think, actually, it would be interesting for people to weigh in. If you could build the school from scratch, what would be on your “has to have” list and what would be on your “it would be nice to have list?” I’m curious.
